(812) 332-2168 | 2815 East Tenth Street, Bloomington, IN 47408
By LINDA MARGISON
from I Am You: Stories of Resilience, Courage, and Power
Tommy Cunningham was born three weeks premature, so his life started with struggles. By the age of 3, he was diagnosed as a hypotonia—or floppy—baby, characterized by weak muscle tone.
“They said he would never walk,” recalls his mother, Katie Floerke. “They kinda hit that diagnosis wrong. I don’t think he was ever a floppy baby.”
Katie explains that, as Tommy aged, he walked and was potty trained, despite doctors saying those milestones would never happen. “Naturally, he overcame all of that with about a year delay,” she says. “He had a lot of help to overcome his struggles.”
Some of that help included physical and occupational therapy, as well as First Steps, Indiana’s early intervention program providing services to infants and toddlers with developmental delays or disabilities.
By kindergarten, though, she got a phone call from his school that something wasn’t right. “They said he was living in a fantasy world and thought everyone was a Star Trek character,” Katie says. After seeing a psychiatrist, Tommy was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome.
“I was shocked,” Katie recalls. “I had been working with people with disabilities for 11 years, and then finding out my son had autism. It was quite a shock, but I knew avenues to getting him help in school and for moving forward and getting the best out of his life.”
Katie was a strong advocate for inclusion and keeping Tommy in public school, and he did well until high school, when homework became extremely hard.
“In elementary and middle school, I hired tutors to help him, but my rule is, if it goes past an hour and a half of homework a night, it stops. He’s not going to do it,” she says.
When Tommy reached high school, his parents let him choose, and he wanted to be in a self-contained class.
“It kinda goes against every grain of my being, because now that he is out of school, he is part of the community, and he should have been full inclusion all the way,” Katie explains.
Those years were difficult for Tommy.
“During high school, there were people teasing each other all around the high school,” he says. “They were teasing me, and I just really did not like that. It made me a little uncomfortable.”
When Tommy was teased or bullied, he often lashed out in anger.
“One time, I was like, ‘Am I going to yell or push at this kid because he was making me mad?’ I decided to yell and the bus monitor came over and she held me, and I was lucky as one of my friends came and helped me.”
Katie says Tommy’s anger is one of his greatest obstacles, but he’s trying to do better.
“Tommy is very aware of his anger. He will go online and try to find ideas on how to keep his anger under control, and even when he’s in an anger fit, when he can finally get past the anger, he’s remorseful,” Katie says. “Recently, he said he just wished he could stop the anger before it gets to the point where he’s yelling.”
Tommy, now 21, loves traveling, especially on cruise ships. After he graduated from high school, he says his mom made “a big mistake” by taking him to a nightclub while on a cruise.
“The nightclub had a lot of dancing, and the number one thing my mom was not liking was that there were not very nice people in there,” he says. “Once I turned 21, I started going to casinos.”
While he’s traveled domestically and internationally, Tommy’s dream trip is to visit New York City. However, he remembers all his trips fondly.
“My first-ever trip, we were heading to Gatlinburg, and I had me the biggest scare in my life: It was driving a go-kart. Those go-karts really do scare me,” he says.
Another trip he took was to Niagara Falls. “I got to see the falls up close on the Maid of the Mist. That is so nice, the Maid of the Mist.”
Sitting at the base of Niagara Falls, Tommy says he was wondering how the water hydrated. “And I was, like, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me! This water comes from the Great Lakes!’ I watched a documentary about it.”
Besides watching documentaries, Tommy does research on the computer about places he would like to visit. “I’ve been a really big whiz on the computer,” he says, adding that he also looks at his email and searches different job listings. “I try to help out the employment department on finding out the best jobs. I’ve been trying to help out.”
If he could have any job he wanted, Tommy knows exactly what that would be.
“I would like to live on a cruise ship and one day be the cruise director or the youth director,” Tommy says. “I know that all I have to do is make sure my passport is ready, make sure my visa is ready, and make sure all of the proper paperwork is ready.”
Until then, Tommy spends time volunteering. “Right now, I’ve been doing volunteer work and I’ve been going to the First Church of God every other Monday. I’ve been going to the Catholic Church and I’ve been going to Mount Pleasant,” he says. “At the First Church of God and the Catholic church, I clean out the sanctuaries, and then at Mount Pleasant, I fold the bulletins.”
Getting a job is all part of his path to independence. He also wants to move from the group home where he lives to an apartment, so he can have more independence.
“The thing I’m mostly worried about is the independent living. It’s when I get ready to live on my own,” he says, adding that transitioning into a more independent living situation means he can work more hours at his community job and ride the bus to and from work. “The bus has been really fun lately.”
Katie also wishes more independence for her son.
“My goal would be for him to actually take charge of his life and be happy,” she says, explaining that getting into a supported living program would make that more likely. “Eventually, if he could get his anger under control, I could see him driving, I could see him having a full-time job, having a girlfriend. I foresee him having what I would call a normal life.”
© 2017 Stone Belt. All Rights Reserved.